Today I could use some direction friends.
I have this issue that I have been conveniently able to avoid, but I think I may have to change my ways soon. Let me give you a little history lesson (don’t worry, there’s no quiz later and this doesn’t involve any maps).
Without going into the deep realms of my subconsious, I will begin this history lesson in 2001 when I refused to eat soft cheese. I was preggo with our M and had read about bacteria in cheese and refused to eat ANY cheese for that reason. My mom thought it was a tad over-board (c’mon, it’s not like I refused to eat ice cream for pete’s sake), and I remember very clearly her saying “honey, please tell me you are not going to make your kids live in a bubble”. “Of course not” I clamored!
and yet here we are, engulfed in the “sleep-over bubble” fiasco. Sigh.
*fast forwarding to present day* (HEY! WAKE UP! No one sleeps in MY history class!!)
M is seven and I have never allowed her to sleep-over at a friend’s house. Am I crazy? Am I over-protective? Or am I simply cautious and a wonderful parent? Please say the latter. I justify this decision based on the fact that I feel like so many kids are in such a hurry to grow up and as I have grown into my mature adult womanly self, I long for the endless days of childhood when time did not exist. I want our children to feel content with the here and now, and to not feel pressured to do all of the things that their friends are doing. And maybe this is just a big fat excuse on my part?
Maybe the real reason is FEAR. It scares the cr@p out of me to think of letting M out of the safety of this “bubble” that I have so diligently constructed. I worry about other families who I really do not know all that well. Sure they seem nice on the outside, but I have no idea what really happens behind closed doors. How can I be sure of her safety? How do I know she will be watched? How will I know she will be okay?
The Jekyll in my head says “You are just a caring mama bird who is nurturing her baby bird until she is really ready to fly on her own”.
But then there is Hyde. D@mn that Hyde. He, on the other hand, tells me I am being over-protective and that it is not healthy to live in such fear”.
So I ask you, do you let your girls do sleep-overs? If so, at what age? How did you deal with the anxiety of the unknown? I would love to hear how you handle this delicate balance of protecting vs. over-protecting. And please do not suggest counseling, it’ll just hurt my feelings and then I will cry. Nobody wants that. 
Photos Credits:
http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com
http://wilsonshistoryclass.com
Obviously we know that I’m not an expert, but does she host sleep overs? Would that be a compromise?
Our rule is that we have to meet both of the parents before our girls are allowed to go to a sleepover. The girls are not allowed to spend the night at anyone’s house who only has a male parent (sorry, single dads!). The girls are welcome to have any of their friends spend the night here as long as we have a few days notice. That has worked for us although we’ve had some grumbling from time to time about the single dad thing. Hope that helps!
I have three girls, and no, we do not do slumber parties or spend the night. Let’s just say that in this day and age, I don’t want to risk THINKING I know someone’s dad or older brother and then regretting it for the rest of my life. Believe me, I have heard the horror stories and I refuse to become one more statistic. Also, I know what I did at sleep overs and slumber parties and seldom was it good.
When our girls are invited to the parties, we let them stay late and then if there are more activities the next day, we take them back over. A bit of a pain? Yes. But so worth it to keep my girl’s innocence intact.
The only exceptions we have made are when my hubby and I go out of town for a few days. We have let them stay at the grandparent’s or a very trusted friend’s house where there aren’t older brothers.
Thank you Lisa!!