“When picture day arrived last fall at St. Mary’s School in Walnut Creek, Calif., pre-kindergartner Isabella Forrest had an outbreak of red, flaky eczema on her cheeks.
When it came time to order prints, the 4-year-old’s mother, Carla, was relieved to see a retouching option.
“All I could say was, ‘Yay,’ ” Carla recalls. “I don’t want her to look back when she’s older and be, like, ‘Mom, why didn’t you do something about my face?’ I want people to see her, not her skin condition.”
For decades, portrait companies have offered retouching at the high school level. However, for the past five years, the service has expanded to parents of the K-5 set, and they’re using it to erase everything from cowlicks to imperfections caused by accidents” (Detroit Free Press).
But what about that little piece of hair that’s out of place?
What about a booger that might be in a nostril (gross, but happens!).
What about the red birth mark, the freckles or OH NO a ZIT!!!!
Some parents say that “children’s self-esteem is critical, and if you’re going to alter their looks, that’s truly a parent’s decision.”
Others argue that this “my child should be perfect” attitude has much larger ramifications. In a culture of small waists are more beautiful, when do we draw the line on air-brushing? (see my post on air-brushing)
I have a confession.
When I first started blogging I had been tempted a few times to take out flaws from photos I was putting online. My son had eczema, my daughter has a red mark on her cheek, I have had plenty of skin imperfections and so has my husband. There have been times that I thought, oh what’s the biggie if I make us look better? Well, because it’s a lie. We are not perfect – not even close. So why make it seem that way? What message does this send to our children if we cannot stand back and appreciate who they are and love them for them enough to appreciate the beauty of imperfection?
I know it is a struggle. When our E had such severe eczema at two years of age, he was little but big enough to bury his red little baby face into my shoulder while holding him because he was embarrassed that people were talking about him and his skin. He was just two.
We want our kids to feel happy with themselves and excited to share their school photos with people right? Well then it seems to me that the only way to really do this is to embrace our imperfections and those around us by saying ” I will not re-touch your photo because it’s YOU. And YOU are beautiful and amazing…
“I love you with scrapes.
I love you with eczema.
I love you with a booger in your nose.
I love you with freckles, a tan and even when your pale.
I love you with pimples
and I love you when your skin looks nice.
I love everything about you all of the time.
I love you unconditionally.”
Life is not perfect. We are not perfect. But celebrating our inner beauty is one of life’s most wonderful joys. I want my children to love and respect themselves and by retouching pictures so a child’s self esteem is not impaired, I believe will do more damage in the long run. I really feel so strongly that in order for kids to grow up feeling empowered and confident – they need to know that they are loved for who they are…their imperfect little selves.
What’s your take on this? Do you think this “service” (or disservice), should be offered to parents of school-aged children? You can disagree with me – I just want to hear what you think about it! Do share! We all have our own opinions!
Image Credit:
http://evaluationcreations.blogspot.com/
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What a great post Lynn. I never really thought much about those touch ups before. Maybe it really is sending the wrong message to our kids about their appearance. I will certainly think twice when the option to fix-up comes up. Maybe I’ll have to post more photos of the real me-imperfections and all. Thanks for making me think.
I just about cried reading this. I couldn’t agree with you more. We should just be happy they are happy :^)
Awww Marla! You are so sweet
I agree, to do all we can so they are happy with themselves just the way they are is so important! 
Hugs to you my friend!
Oh Lori – we have all been there haven’t we? When we just want to hide that little flaw? It takes courage to show the “real” us -but I think that it can be so freeing to say “this is who I am, like it or not” you know? I really feel extra strong about it since our son’s eczema situation. It was hard for us all when strangers stared and commented…but we know the real E, we know he’s wonderful and I began to realize that it just did not matter what others thought or the comments that were made because he’s alive and healthy and he has so much to offer…as do both of our kids. I just want to make sure and do my best in giving them the gift of self-respect and self-love along the way too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts – you are a wonderful reader here and I always look so forward to hearing reading your comments
{{hugs}}
*sniffle* *wailing* We love you too!
I think the pictures are fun when they’re got imperfections. When my younger boy was little he always had a big black eye or a cast or something when picture day came around. I remember considering re-scheduling in the beginning but realizing that he would just have another big bruise by the time the next date rolled around.
My mom has pictures of my in my ballet outfit, pink tutu, fully made up face for a recital, with big bruises all up and down my legs. If those weren’t there I think it would look weird. Those bruises represent my memories of playing with the neighborhood kids and wiping out on my bike in the bushes when the mean boys made a line at the bottom of the hill (I should have run them over!). The point is that they photo wouldn’t really seem like me without the bruises and all.
awesome post Lynn. I’m #3 of 4 kids. My youngest sister has a port wine birth mark that covered half her face (before laser removal treatment since she was 5.) Growing up, we had family photos taken (on more than 1 occasion) where photographers would “remove” her birthmark from the finished image. No one liked it. It did not represent her as we knew her and recognized her as the amazing person we all love and admire.
This is personal to me as well because my youngest that looks like the doctor stuck his thumb in my child’s firgead at birth. It may be removed one day if he chooses but I haven’t altered a thing in pictures. It just wouldn’t be the same. Great post!!!
Clayton
Http://www.claytonpaulthomas.com
Twitter: @claylauren2001
Oh my! I think that is wonderful that you are letting your child decide for him/herself. I am sure they will always know how amazing they are from your love and acceptance of who they are in their heart. I am sure that your child is beautiful in every single way and you sound like a wonderful parent
Thanks for stopping by and sharing! {{hugs}}
Awww, Kristen thank you for sharing that with us. I am sure it is a tough decision for anyone faced with a choice and I can totally relate because our E was COVERED with his eczema too. We even had to get a doctor’s note incase anyone complained that we were at our public swim club. I am sure you can understand just how touchy a subject it can be and bottom line is how “they” feel about themselves. I agree that skin should not represent who someone is and no matter how they look – we love every part of about them and that God made them to be who they are inside. I want my children to know that is true more than anything else. Thank you K for your heart felt comment. Luv ya!
LOL Jen! You are so hysterical!! I have gymnastics pics with bruises on my legs too – must be all those brothers of ours hehehe! I think it’s cool to look back and giggle over “oh remember when I had that scrape because of…” Thanks for your thoughts on this!
Oh TLQ! Don’t cry
Thanks for the love – sometimes I can’t help myself and I get the weepy writing thing happening 
You are so cute!